Workaholic husbands often find to their dismay that they end up without a family. Almost 50% of divorces are initiated by women whose husbands are too busy at work and cannot find time for their wife and children. Wives are becoming more assertive in expressing their needs and expectations. Husbands cannot simply be providers. Many women have become financially independent and are therefore less dependent on their husbands to bring their bacon home. What women today are looking for are partners who treat them as equals, share domestic responsibilities, help raise and discipline children, and work for emotional intimacy in marriage.
Some reasons why men get addicted to work:
• Traditional parenting: From childhood, men are raised with the belief that they are merely providers and protectors. They must be hard-working, logical, courageous and assertive. Girls learn to be obedient, submissive, efficient in housework and in raising and caring for children. They must also meet the needs of men.
• Excessive ambition: some men become obsessed with their work. Your sense of self-worth comes from your reputation at work, excellence in your profession, financial integrity, and recognition from your colleagues and society at large.
• Economic independence from wife: Men do not mind having successful wives as long as they are less successful than they are. But if a wife is better placed in her job, her husband may unconsciously resent her. The competition takes over. His ego drives him to work overtime until he is on par with or exceeds her.
• A boring marriage: a man would rather spend more time at work than go home with a nagging, nagging wife.
• An exhausted wife: the children and household chores have used up all your energy. She walks like a zombie, completing the tasks she has to finish and then collapses on the bed from exhaustion. The husband feels abandoned and prefers to stay longer at work or socialize with friends.
• Infidelity: The man may have fallen in love with his wife. She uses work as a cover for her flirtation.
• Extended family: in-laws living at home can interfere and create tension between husband and wife. The man stays away as long as possible to avoid friction.
• A wasteful wife who is happy to spend her husband’s money and does not care if her husband is home or not as long as he gives him money to waste.
Causes of disconnection:
No time “together”:
– A man who spends long hours at work and comes home late at night is too tired or irritable to talk to his wife or listen to her problems. He has a hasty dinner, then spends a few minutes watching the news on television and falls into bed exhausted.
– A man in love with his job is usually a megalomaniac. You can be socially, economically, or politically successful and expect your wife to be your servant. Marriage to such a man can be hell. Many real life examples come to mind.
Leo Tolstoy, a famous novelist and a staunch Christian, felt compassion for his servants and freed them, but treated his wife and family badly. After his death, Sonya wrote: “There was little genuine affection in him … No one will ever know that he never gave his wife rest, and never in all these thirty-two years did he give his son a drink of water or He spent five minutes by his bed, to give me the opportunity to rest a bit from all my work. “
Albert Einstein, the Nobel Prize-winning physicist, was a tyrant who expected full fulfillment from his wife. “You will stop talking to me if I ask you.” “You will not expect privacy.”
Jane Walsh Carlyle, a writer, was married to Thomas Carlyle, an author and essayist. He had to put his own career on hold to provide him with a peaceful home environment and attentively protect him from noise and unwanted visitors. She sacrificed her own talents to further the ambition of this “man of genius.” He treated her like a domestic servant and was indifferent to her needs.
– Famous men such as artists, musicians or movie stars who are away from home for long periods of time, often neglect their wives. Being surrounded by sympathetic admirers, they are prone to multiple relationships.
Effect on handcuffs:
1. Loneliness: Women do not find a meaningful relationship within the home nor do they have time to cultivate friends outside. They are isolated in a cocoon of loneliness. Self-esteem plummets. They feel insecure, fall into depression, and in some cases even commit suicide.
2. Professional women face the dual responsibility of managing the home and performing well in their jobs. When they are not supported by their husbands, they may seek sympathy elsewhere. Extramarital affairs are known to happen. Divorce is the easiest way out.
3. Professional women are often under a lot of stress, especially when they do not have the support or encouragement of their spouses. Stress-related illnesses such as hypertension, heart disease, depression, or psychosomatic illnesses can occur.
4. Such a woman may be too strict with her children or too lenient. You can track crime, drug or alcohol addiction, school neglect, and rampant social media.
How to turn a workaholic into a loving husband:
• Good communication: a workaholic may be completely unaware of his wife’s latent discontent. She may appear happy doing her chores while holding a grudge against the man who treats her like a robot, expecting her to keep her house in order and warm her bed at night. The woman must take the initiative to inform you of her needs and expectations, but she must also learn the art of communication. Do not scold, beg, or scold. No rushing to him with a list of complaints as soon as he walks in the door after a hard day at work. She should communicate her needs in a loving way when he is in a receptive frame of mind, and preferably when they are alone.
Confrontation can backfire. Marriage must be lived on a daily basis. It requires the responsible participation of both partners. Each one must contribute their time and love to keep it running. Home responsibilities are not degrading. They are opportunities for loving service. While browsing a bookstore, I was struck by the title of a book. It said: “I take out the garbage because I love you.” The value of interdependence in daily chores, mutual nurturing, and disciplining children cannot be stressed enough. Decisions on important issues should be a joint effort.
“Give your partner the best you have and God will give you in return, the best marriage you could wish for,” says JA Petersen.
• Achieve a healthy work-home balance: learn to prioritize. Professional activity may have to be cut in deference to a happy marriage. This also applies to working women. Successful women should not give their husbands an inferiority complex. An atmosphere of openness and determination to resolve conflicts will help resolve problems.
• Partner appreciation: men need to show their affection through words and deeds. A middle-aged man with three children said he set out to find something new every day to congratulate his wife. I’m sure his wife appreciated his kindness and loved him even more.
• The gift of time: a man who spends time with his wife confirms that she is valuable to him. Some men stay in the office to escape from housework or to meet the demands of children or to avoid spending time with their wives.
Some work overtime to earn more money for a luxurious lifestyle and a relaxed retirement. But in the process, they may lose the love of their wives and families and may not live long enough to enjoy a peaceful retirement. Your family time outing is not worth buying.
• If work is just an excuse to stay away from an unexciting marriage, then it’s time to dig deeper and discover the cause of the problem. What makes a wife happy or unhappy, excited or bored? The man must be proactive in his approach. You need to express a genuine interest in what they like and what they don’t like and show that you care. You need to focus on what is best for both of you as a couple. Going out with her on a date or on a vacation and finding forms of recreational companionship would make the marriage more exciting.
• Lack of physical intimacy? There should be open discussions about it. Are the reasons physical, psychological, or emotional? Sex is an integral and inseparable part of married life. Michael Warner says, “Couples should schedule a time for physical intimacy.” One family therapist advised: “Teach your children to respect the closed door.” If your problems cannot be resolved through discussion and negotiation, you should seek outside help from doctors, counselors, or psychotherapists. If your love life is stagnant, it will create a permanent barrier to your relationships.
Workaholics must remember that too much work and too many hours away from home will destroy intimacy. Therefore, prioritize and eliminate non-essential jobs in favor of home and family. The word “too busy” is unacceptable to the modern woman. Many marriages fail because successful men turn out to be ‘renegade husbands’. Women need husbands to validate their lives as equal partners and make them feel valued, loved, and appreciated.