Have you ever wondered what is the real reason why men cheat? You may be wondering why Tiger Woods cheated. Or maybe you’re a woman reading this and interested in why men cheat in general, or maybe you’re a guy curious about what I have to say. Whatever the reason, I’m sure by now you’ve probably come across some good and not-so-good theories as to why men cheat. I’ve certainly heard and read a lot about this, and unfortunately I’ve come across a lot of superficial theories. In this article, I’m going to try to dig a little deeper.
Surely you have heard things like that men cheat because they were not sexually satisfied, something was wrong in the relationship, he was drunk at a party and the opportunity presented itself, he became rich and powerful and he did it because he could. , or that he just met an incredibly beautiful woman who won him over. Perhaps you have heard even more superficial ideas of why men cheat as men have come into this world to mate and spread their seed, it is part of their nature to behave like this, or that it is testosterone that makes them cheat. While all of these ideas contain some nuggets of truth, none of these suggestions provide any real understanding of why men cheat.
Let’s explore this topic starting with what I believe to be the most fundamental theory, which is that men (and women) often cheat out of ignorance. Now, if you’re a woman, before you say “Well, that sounds like a justification for men to go out and cheat,” let me explain what I mean. If you’re a guy reading this and you’ve cheated before her, and you might be saying, “This is just ridiculous, I knew exactly what I was doing when I cheated on her,” then keep reading.
The truth is that we often do a lot of things out of ignorance, and when it comes to sex and cheating, men are notorious for doing things without thinking. Listen to this: “God gave men two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time.” There’s a reason this kind of joke exists. When you hear about politicians like the governor of South Carolina cheating on his wife with an Argentine woman or a successful sports star like Tiger Woods having various affairs, you really realize how little men think about the consequences. How else do you explain this behavior? Plain and simple, men can often act before considering the consequences. I’m not saying women don’t do stupid things, but when it comes to cheating, women often seem to be much more cautious than men. After all, you rarely hear of a successful woman risking her entire career or her family to have an affair.
I am not trying to say that there is something inherently wrong with being ignorant. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss and many people just want to stay that way. But when you don’t fully understand the consequences of your actions, it’s impossible for you to make intelligent decisions about your life. This is what I mean by doing things out of ignorance, and this kind of ignorance certainly allows you to do stupid things. Ignorance is not a justification, but it is an explanation. After all, we all make mistakes and have occasionally done things out of ignorance.
But the more you understand the consequences of your actions, the more informed decisions you’ll make. Even if you choose to do things out of ignorance, at least you are aware of your actions and your choices. Also, the more you understand the consequences of your choices, the more difficult it will be for you to do things out of ignorance. And the more aware you become of your own thinking, the more responsibility you will take on for your life.
I often hear people say things like, “Well, when I’m on this trip out of the country and I cheat on my wife/girlfriend, no one will ever know. So why not do it if I feel like it?” While it may be true that no one will find out, you may not realize that even if no one knows about your cheating, there are still many negative consequences that can affect your life and relationship.
For example, after cheating, the next time you spend time with or have sex with your partner, you can be sure that part of your conscious or subconscious brain will be thinking about your cheating incident.
Whatever you do, your brain continues to record and store images, sounds, and colors of everything. So if you cheated, on a conscious or subconscious level, your partner will somehow feel less connected to you. What you think and what you feel about your partner is transmitted in many ways besides just words. When you’ve cheated, whether you’re aware of it or not, you don’t act in the same loving and open way as before.
Any time you secretly do something with a lot of emotion attached to it, like cheating on someone, that memory is stored in your brain and you will remember the incident long after the event itself. When you look at your partner, you will also remember the times you cheated on them.
And every time you think about your cheating incident, you will have wasted your mental energy and creative potential on something as frivolous as cheating. This is the same precious thought energy that you could have been using to improve your life or relationship with your partner. That’s why living with a lie always leaves you emotionally drained. And like I said, every time you think about the cheating incident, your partner will feel less connected to you, sometimes without even knowing why.
But now, they are less connected to each other. On a conscious or unconscious level, she is less “there” for you. Intuitively, she will not trust you or allow herself to relax and open up around you as much. If she suspects that you’re cheating on her or just suspects that something doesn’t feel right, a part of her will start to shut down sexually and in all other ways. Her intuition tells her to take care of herself, sometimes without knowing why. All this can happen simply without conscious reasoning. Whichever way this plays out, all of this can have a tremendous effect on your relationships and love life.
Also, whenever we don’t live with the truth, we disconnect from our honest selves that should be in charge of our lives in a healthy way. Most people don’t think that far; I know I didn’t. So now you can see that when people cheat, they often don’t realize the consequences of their actions and ultimately cheat out of ignorance.
Another facet of this theme is that men often feel the need to cheat when they feel inadequate or fail to make their partner happy, particularly in the bedroom. When a guy loses confidence that he can make his partner happy, he may start looking elsewhere for this feeling of “success.” When he goes home to his wife or girlfriend and begins to associate her with failure or rejection, it can be very discouraging. Men can be very sensitive to this and soon begin to feel totally defeated.
If home means defeat, then another woman with a smile on her face that says, “Hey, you might just be the right man to make me happy,” can suddenly make this man feel better about himself. Obviously, there is no history of failure with this new woman. Instead, there is a new opportunity to succeed. Suddenly, the man will have renewed energy for this different woman, while at the same time he will feel completely defeated at home. Generally, men are not even aware of this process.
What makes matters worse is that if he is also ignorant or unwilling to acknowledge how he may be contributing to problems in your relationship and in the bedroom, he becomes even more prone to cheating. Feeling like a failure at home, he may start to naively justify his cheating. He begins to rationalize that the reason he feels the need to cheat is because his wife/his girlfriend makes him feel like a failure.
At this point, you may start to care less about your partner and even start blaming them for your relationship problems. As he begins to find reasons to blame her, he begins to feel even more justified in cheating on her. At this point, the man may be saying to himself or his friends things like, “She’s just never in the mood, I don’t think I can deal with it much longer” or “No matter what I do, she’s never happy. Why should I even bother?”
This internal dialogue makes you feel even more justified in cheating. For example, if he is in the club trying to forget the worries of him getting drunk and meeting a girl, or if he decides to fly to another country, he will take the opportunity to find that “hit” and recover. the feelings of adequacy of him.
When a man feels powerless or in pain, and doesn’t understand what to do to solve his relationship problems, he may childishly think that he is solving his problems simply by getting another woman. In order to feel better, he begins to console himself by cheating and having sex with someone else.
This is when you hear men justify their behavior by saying things like, “It’s my nature to do it” or “My wife just doesn’t want to have sex with me or is never in the mood. What else am I supposed to do?” do?” Not realizing how he may be contributing to his problems and not knowing what to do, he tries to solve his problems by cheating.
So there you have it. the real reason why men cheat. While to some, these reasons may sound like a justification for cheating, they really aren’t. Whatever the reasons men or women cheat, they cannot justify these actions. However, the more you understand your own underlying reasons for doing the things he does, the more likely you are to make smart decisions for yourself.