Put four smart and successful women around the kitchen table once a month and what do you get?
If the women are Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Cristini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro, you will eventually get a great book. This is not the life I asked for it is about surviving the unexpected challenges that life presents to you.
Among them, the authors have experienced six marriages, ten children, four stepchildren, two miscarriages, a failed adoption, widowhood and adoptive parenting. One was shot and left for dead. Two survived their spouses. They have built businesses and lost businesses. They have experienced financial wealth beyond their expectations and close to financial ruin. Despite everything, they supported each other.
Dotted with quotes, stories and cartoons, This Is Not The Life I Ordered offers you “50 ways to keep your head above water when life drags you down.”
These are some of their strategies:
Call a gathering of friends from the kitchen table.
Get together regularly with a small group of friends that you trust and admire. Choose a comfortable meeting place with privacy. Have everyone answer these questions in turn:
So how is your life going?
How can we help?
Who do we know who can help?
What are you happy about right now in your life?
What is there to laugh at?
When we leave here today, what three things do we commit to each other that we will do for ourselves?
Keep your meetings positive and hold them regularly. You will be amazed at what each of you will accomplish.
Be willing to make big mistakes.
People learn from their mistakes, often more than from their successes. Don’t bury your head in the sand when you make a mistake. Think like a scientist – it’s all trial and error. You are going to do a lot of wrong things on your way to something important right.
Listen to your inner voice.
Call it female intuition if you like, women really are more intuitive than men. Stay connected with your emotions. Your “gut” can often guide you more successfully than any amount of supposedly logical self-talk. Stay tuned for that little inner voice. Listen when they speak and act accordingly.
Recognize that chocolate melts into a new shape.
There may be times in your life when you have to reinvent yourself. People affected by Hurricane Katrina had their lives taken from them before their eyes. When something like this happens, it’s hard to know who to trust or what to do. Those are the moments when it is good to remember that chocolate can melt, but sooner or later it takes a new shape. That new shape may be stronger and better – it will certainly be just as tasty. Remember to always wait and rejoice in your next form.
These are just a few examples of the wise words from This Is Not the Life I Ordered. Get a copy from your local library or buy it from your favorite bookstore. It’s a good book to keep around when you’re feeling down or just want some great stories and tips to make you feel better.