All stress, regardless of the source, will undermine our well-being if left unchecked. Accumulated stress can eventually lead to conditions like anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, stroke, MS/chronic fatigue, and depression, to name just a few. Therefore, any measure we can take to reduce our stress will be beneficial.
What many people don’t realize is that much of their stress comes from conflicts within their minds. Think of your mind as an iceberg. The part that is above the water is your conscious mind. This is where you uphold your ideals and principles, where you make your daily decisions and uphold your religious and political beliefs. This is the part of your mind that you are aware of. The largest portion below the surface is the hidden world of your subconscious mind. The subconscious is the land of dreams. It has its own agenda that is often in direct conflict with what you consciously want. Each and every conflict results in stress, and each source of stress undermines your strength.
The poison of unforgiveness
A major source of such conflict is unforgiveness. We often say that we have forgiven someone, but only your conscious mind believes that. More often than not, your subconscious mind refuses to forgive and has even vowed to hate the perpetrator forever!
So what effect does this have? It is very simple. Any time your conscious mind and your subconscious mind disagree on an issue, there is conflict. Think of it like computer software with a bug. It is impossible for the conflict to be resolved, because a part of you will never be happy with the outcome.
For example, you might consciously think, “I forgive my sister for breaking my wrist.” Meanwhile, your subconscious has filed: “I swear to hate my sister forever for destroying my doll.” It is impossible to solve both programs at the same time. Either you forgive someone, or you don’t. You can’t do both. Therefore, the mental program runs in a continuous and endless cycle, which consumes a great deal of energy and produces mental and emotional stress. In the case of this example, the conflict may have lasted thirty, forty, or fifty years! Even if you’re not thinking about the incident, on a deeper level, your mind is still wrestling with the conflict. Imagine how many conflicts like this you have in your brain right now. These internal conflicts produce stress, and a lot!
Forgiveness Exercise
When you want to forgive someone, do the following exercise. The wording is designed to act in a specific way, so be sure to follow the steps carefully.
- Close your eyes, remember the person and the incident you want to forgive.
- Now focus on the energy of your heart. As you breathe, feel the energy grow stronger and mentally let it expand out of your body, connecting with the energy of the Universe.
- Ask the Universe to show you the highest perspective of the incident. Wait and let the answer come from the Universe; this will feel like warm energy moving through your heart and body.
- Now, ask the Universe to explain to your cells that you have learned everything you needed from that lack of forgiveness. Wait and let the answer come from the Universe again.
- Then ask the Universe to teach your cells what it feels like to be able to forgive this person. Again visualize or feel the energy responding to your request.
- Now ask the Universe to show you how forgiving will benefit you and your life. Let the healing flow through you.
- Finally, ask the Universe to show you what it feels like to have completely forgiven them. Once again, allow the energy of the Universe to flow through your body, healing whatever is needed. Make sure all energy has stopped moving before opening your eyes.
This sequence of healing energies and understandings will soften the old blocked unforgiveness and allow it to dissipate. Once the unforgiveness is gone, the mental conflict will dissolve and that stress will be permanently released.
Anything you can do to get rid of accumulated stress will be good for you. I recommend that you look back on your life and make a little order. Every time you think of an incident that upset you or made you angry in your past, focus on it for a few seconds and see if you feel the old emotion come up again. If you do, then you need to forgive. Just do the forgiveness exercise to change the negative energy.
It is also very helpful if you take the holly and willow Bach flower remedies. These clear out deep-seated anger and bitterness that you’ve probably been storing up for years, and clear unforgiveness from your cellular memory.
It really is true that forgiveness is a blessing for both parties. Not only does it show love by releasing perceived past mistakes, but it also increases the well-being of the person you forgive. Even if it seems difficult to do, it’s worth the effort.