Let’s talk about something that seems to be very common in the network marketing industry, but is rarely talked about.
Are You Cheating On Your Spouse With Network Marketing?
Network marketing can put a lot of stress and strain on a marriage. It can be the root of a lot of resentment and unspoken tension, sometimes leading to the ultimate demise of a relationship. Here are some personal tips and advice on how to grow a successful network marketing business while maintaining the integrity of your marriage and family.
Here’s an actual note my husband wrote to me three months after I joined my new company.
Dre
Since he started his new business, I feel like he has divorced me and married his network marketing business.
We don’t spend time together, you are always away and when you are here you are talking on the phone, giving a presentation or on the Internet. I feel like you’ve left me alone, and it’s not fun to be with you because all you talk about is your business. If you put as much time and effort into me and your marriage as your business, I would be the happiest man in the world.
Although I may not understand the industry or how much time and effort it takes to do so, I know that it is ruining our marriage and our friendship and some things have to change. Please stop putting me on the back burner and remember that I am your first love.
Your abandoned husband!
As network marketers, we may be ruining our relationships with our wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, or other important people and not even realizing it. When I first read your letter, I thought “What the hell are you talking about? This is my job, I’m trying to earn money for our family so that we (you and I) can have the flexibility to do what we want when we want. And are you complaining? – you had a problem when I was working more than 50 hours a week as my corporate job. So where does all this come from? “
After having a serious and honest conversation with my husband, I realized that even though I thought I was doing something nice for our family, I was neglecting what made us happy as husband and wife and as best friends.
Where does the tension come from?
What I saw as tireless passion and a focused determination to learn my business and build a successful empire, I saw as obsessive insanity. I became that spouse that you had to beg to go to bed, that you had to pry the computer or bribe to be able to do anything that was not related to building my business.
Not that I wanted to spend more time on my computer researching and reading about what top earners were doing, trying to find the magic formula that would take my business to the next level. Not that I loved prospecting more than I loved talking to my husband. Not that I wanted to hang out with my clients or prospects instead of going on a date night and hugging the man I loved. I was doing what I was doing because I was Sick and tired of being sick and tired and MLM was my way of getting where I wanted my family to be. MLM would put us FREE!
So with my husband’s feelings heard, it was time to speak heart to heart and in an effort to communicate and resolve our “issues”, here are some suggestions that I recommend that you implement immediately if you want your marriage to return to the love. train.
1. Agree – You and your spouse must be in tune with your reasons for joining and the vision you have for your business and your family. It is of the utmost importance to determine with your spouse a common vision of what you want to achieve and to fully agree on the direction you want to take as a family. Signing up against your spouse’s knowledge is an absolute no-no and seems selfish and inconsiderate. If your spouse is not supportive, you may be fighting an uphill battle that will make it difficult for you to succeed. Give your spouse a clear understanding of why you signed up so that you have the full story and all the facts in order to make a proper and justified decision in support of your business.
2. Create a time for business and a time for family – There should always be a well-defined schedule for business time and family time. Together determine blocks of time that are appropriate for work-related activities and blocks of time for family activities, romance, church, etc. Once you’ve agreed to the schedule, stick to it and if an adjustment is necessary, discuss it and get your spouse’s approval first before committing to do something that is not in line with the schedule so there are no surprises. Nothing is more important than your family, not your business, not your sponsor, not your upline, not a storefront, nothing! Learn to say “no” or “I’m not available at the moment, can we reschedule?” Make sure to turn off your phone during family time too, it won’t kill you if you get a call on voicemail. I promise!
3. Set “Office time” – No one needs to be recruiting, prospecting, holding meetings or sitting in front of the computer all hours of the day and night. Again, agree on how many hours a week are acceptable to put into your business.
4. Prioritize your day – Know the night before what you have to do for the next day. It will help you focus on what is important and you will move efficiently and productively through your tasks. Establish a marketing plan and routine, outlining your activities, so that you are not working mindlessly all day, and find that you really didn’t accomplish much because you weren’t organized and focused. If you have a set time to make calls, prospecting, training, personal development, etc, etc. Marked on your calendar, you will find that your day will pass much more smoothly and you will not feel exhausted at the end of the day or, better yet, when it is time for family.
5. Communicate your failures and your successes. – Many times, the best ideas come from our spouses. Whether they totally agree or not, share your trials and triumphs with them. Communicating with them lets them know that you care about what they think and value their opinions and suggestions. By including your spouse in your business, you will not only gain a better understanding of the industry, but you will begin to realize how hard and committed you are to achieving success.
Do everything you can to have your spouse on your side. We hope these simple tips help you, your spouse, and your business stay together so that not only will your financial freedom flourish, but so will your marriage and family.
What I did not share with you was my husband’s PD in his letter. He said:
Dre –
“Never give up on your dreams” Your passion is what I love about you … just make sure you share it with me a little more often!
My husband is my best friend and my greatest support. So with that being said, husbands, support the passions, visions and dreams of your peers and MLMers never forget your first love. Success is nothing if you have no one to share it with!