At a young age, we start to condition our kids that the reward for putting up with all those veggies on their plates is a sweet, sugary dessert. You may recognize the familiar phrase: “If you don’t eat that broccoli, you won’t have dessert.”
This sets up a reward system that suggests that the sweet, sugary dessert is either a treat or a reward for experiencing something unwanted. The instant gratification aspect of this process makes it somewhat effective in that the child reluctantly eats the vegetable and then enjoys the reward. Over time, this behavior is repeated many times and the unspoken rule develops. That is, if you eat your vegetables, dessert will follow.
Dessert then becomes a presumption, an assumed feature of every meal. After all, the rule we’ve lived by for so many years included dessert after eating. We come to believe that dessert is a necessary element of every meal. This conditioning stays with us throughout our adult lives. Interestingly, we even incorporate this rule into our diet and weight loss programs. You’ve been ‘nice’ for a while and lost a few pounds, and now you think you’ve earned a reward; One chocolate ice cream.
Ironically, the same thing that has decided that the reward for all your hard work is the cause of the health and weight problems you had in the first place. The reward for choosing healthy and nutritious foods is good health, well-being, and a long life. How much more important and valuable are they than the instant gratification that comes with a mouthful of sweetness?
This requires a gigantic mindset shift for some people. Changing the reward from something tangible that makes you feel good in an instant to something that promises a happier, healthier life hardly seems like a fair deal for a child.
“Eat your vegetables and you will grow up to be a healthy and happy person” will most likely elicit an objection response, such as “But MOM…!” The battle continues…
Changing this mindset as an adult simply requires becoming aware of the impact of dessert on your health and being disciplined to discontinue the practice. Later, after years of yo-yo dieting and the development of foods induced by poor dietary choices, that discipline becomes easier to adopt.
For your children, the process is more complex but you can do it. First, unlink the link between vegetables and dessert. Change your language in terms of how you express the benefits of eating vegetables. A dessert reward is not a nice benefit to eating these nutritional powerhouses. Use meals as a fun time to explore the many benefits of different vegetables and the specific nutrients and benefits they provide.
Changing your language alone will not be enough to change learned behavior. No matter how difficult the fight, you will be surprised at how much of this new knowledge will be remembered and begin to take root in your belief systems. In the short term, you can also swap out the sugar-laden dessert for something more nutritious. For example, plain yogurt with some fresh strawberries mixed into a delicious treat, skip the sugar. This creates an opportunity to educate them on the nutritional value of the dessert choices you make as well. In general, they are rewarded for eating their meals and their desserts, each day with more nutrition, better mental and physical performance, and a brighter future.