Who needs a mentor? Aspiring entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs, those just starting out, and everyone who wants to be a successful and confident woman or man in their career can benefit from having a mentor.
Chances are, we’ve all had a mentoring relationship of some kind. Many of us are mentors to others. In a recent CareerWomen.com study, 64% of respondents indicated that they have a formal or informal mentor. Successful women often credit a mentor with helping them advance their career.
I am fortunate to have identified mentors throughout my career who have generously shared with me business contacts, resources, tools, and advice that have enhanced my business and entrepreneurial success. Numerous mentors supported my transition from a 20-year career in a large organization to a small business owner.
From the Greek classics to the modern business world: descriptions of Mentor, a character in Homer’s Odyssey, from whom the term mentor derives, give insight into the mentoring relationship.
Homer’s character, Mentor, is a person of deep trust, a wise old man, and an old man who instills knowledge and guides one to find the answers they seek. In the modern world, a mentor does essentially the same thing. A mentor can provide advice, facilitate networking with key contacts, speed progress up the learning curve, help you navigate the organization’s culture, guide decision-making, and be a source of feedback and motivation. Perhaps some of the most beneficial roles of a mentor are to empower, inspire, and believe in you and your potential for success.
Finding a Mentor That’s Right for You – The first thing to consider when looking for a mentor is your goals. Define what you are looking for and where you need the support of a mentor. Then watch for success. A good mentor is someone who has been there and done that. It is someone who has the knowledge and insight to provide value according to your goals. Look at the strengths of your managers, peers, and colleagues in your network.
Consider those who have strengths in the areas you most need to develop. Ask them to be your mentors. If you want to be part of the formal mentoring program at your organization, don’t wait to be noticed. Ask. Asking for what you want is often one of the most overwhelming things for many worthy mentors. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking up, raising your voice, and asking for support as a mentor, then this becomes your number one goal for your work with a mentor or coach.
Other ways to find a mentor is to get involved in volunteer and professional organizations both inside and outside of your profession’s organizations. You might even consider a long-distance mentor who you can talk to regularly on the phone.
It touches different knowledge. You don’t need to limit yourself to one mentor. Have a full “Mentor Advisory Board” if you are lucky enough to find people who are willing and able to serve in that capacity.
Female or Male Mentor: The selection of a female or male mentor again depends on your goals. Cross-gender mentoring can have many benefits. Men and women often have different strengths. Men can provide guidance in developing the skills to work in a field dominated by men; Men often have good negotiation skills and are usually the majority of the senior leaders in an organization, so they can help you advance your career by facilitating your relationships with other senior leaders. Women’s strengths include dealing with gender bias, building a network of business relationships, managing teams…
Be worthy of being a mentor: Use your mentor’s time productively. Complaining or whining is not a constructive use of your time with your mentor. Here are ten tips for a successful mentoring relationship.
* Know what you want and have clear goals for the relationship.
* Communicate your expectations to your mentor
* Be open, honest and direct with your mentor.
* Establish priority issues for action or support.
* Come prepared for each meeting with topics to discuss.
* Don’t expect your mentor to be an expert in all facets of business.
* Request and use resources and contacts with other members of the organization
* Solicit feedback from your mentor. Don’t take constructive updates personally
* Recognize that feedback from a good mentor is best for you.
* To take action. Even when your mentor asks you to get out of your comfort zone.
Mentor and Be a Mentor: Be a Mentor – Enhance another’s journey by sharing your time, wisdom, knowledge, and experience. Do not doubt that you have something to offer another in a mentoring relationship, chances are you do. Here are 12 tips to help you be a good mentor.
* Set clear expectations and boundaries for the relationship
* Create a positive constructive atmosphere.
* Allow the learner to choose to accept, reject, or consider the advice.
* Listen and hear both what is said and what is not said.
* Identify opportunities and offer decision-making guidance and solutions.
*Use a problem-solving, coaching approach, asking questions and soliciting input from the learner.
* Offer honest and direct feedback. Don’t avoid difficult conversations.
* Share stories, including mistakes from personal experience – the “replays” of your run.
* Ask the trainee to do the ‘homework’ to improve growth.
* Serve as a connector for other business colleagues by inviting them to lunches, meetings, etc.
* Be open and ask for feedback from the learner
* Be fully present at mentor meetings.
Divorce your mentor: Mentoring relationships will eventually end. One of the reasons is that the expectations of the mentor or mentee are not met. Other times there are clashes of personalities or styles. Pitfalls around “fitting” are not uncommon. It is also possible to overcome the mentoring relationship. Establishing a mentoring relationship with a ’till death do us part’ attitude is not the best approach.
A good way to avoid a problem ending a mentoring relationship is to set time limits and expectations at the beginning of the relationship. A three-month period of weekly meetings is a good starting point. Either party has the option to request an extension of the relationship at the end of the period provided. It pays to move on and find new and different mentors. A new mentor can further broaden her knowledge, skills, and perspectives. You can never have too much experience to benefit from the support of a mentor.