When is the last time you remember someone borrowing $ 20 from you? I met a guy who was always asking for money. He constantly complained that he did not have enough money for gas and food, yet he always had money to take care of his dog and buy expensive food. His constant requests for money were driving me crazy!
I love watching Judge Judy. She is perfect most of the time! One of her favorite expressions is “If someone asks you for money, give it as a gift because you will most likely never get it back. Make sure you tell them it is a unique gift.” I agree with that statement.
A few years ago a family member contacted me and needed money for his medications. I was more than willing to help him. I also remember that he told me that he would pay me back in two weeks. I sent the money and then waited for it to be returned to me. A month later he called but never mentioned the money I loaned him. A year later he called again asking for money. This time I told him that I couldn’t help him and reminded him how important it is that we keep our word and that since he never returned what he originally borrowed, I was unable to fulfill his request. I also told him that he did not need to repay the original loan and that he could consider it a one-time gift.
We certainly need limits on our finances and the money we borrow. You’re not a bank, and you’re not Fort Knox! What we must understand is that once you lend money to friends or family, it is very likely that the friendship will come to an end. That’s the cold and hard fact. You have to decide if you are willing to lose a friendship for lending money to someone.
Do you have established limits in case someone comes to ask you for a loan? If you loaned someone money in the past and they never paid you back and you had a chance to do things again, how would you handle it now? Would you lend them the money? Would you have stipulations to loan them money? Would you have made them sign a binding legal contract? What would change?
The first question to ask yourself is whether you can afford to lend money. If you have to use money intended to pay your bills, then you are certainly not in a position to lend or give the money away. If it’s money set aside for food or insurance, I would again say don’t lend your money. When you lend money, just plan to never get it back. I’ve seen best friends break up due to unpaid loans. I have also seen them in court. Plan to have an answer if someone you know comes up to you and asks for money. Don’t be taken by surprise and give away money that you can’t afford to give away. Saying that you can’t save a long-term friendship.
The loan of money has caused many divorces. I have seen one spouse lend money without consulting the other spouse. When the unsuspecting spouse discovers why money is lacking in a joint account, there is trouble in paradise. Protect your money! Difficult times are ahead.
We all struggle with limits. Do you need help setting your limits? Do you have a hard time telling people “no” when they ask for money? Are you tired of letting people trample you? Does your spouse, children, or co-workers need to know their limits? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need to see how to protect yourself from those who want to borrow from you.