I grew up in a small town. Although I never lived there again once I graduated from university, I always felt nostalgic for that life; the large courtyards, the ease of getting from one place to another (on foot, by bike or by bus), the holiday celebrations throughout the city, the joy of meeting so many people walking down the street and the safety of The kids enjoyed themselves as they wandered the streets of the city. The people of our city were probably 95% white and 90% Christian and it was very unusual to see an African American face.
But once I learned what a larger city had to offer (theater, educational opportunities, shopping, etc.), I was torn apart. I liked the benefits, but I loved the small town atmosphere. So when my husband, also from a small town, and I look for a city to live in, work with, and raise our children, we try to combine these contrasting benefits.
We originally settled in Carlsbad, California, which was a small but growing community, just a short drive from the larger city of San Diego and a little further by car from Los Angeles. Perfect. We had found a good mix. Seventeen years later, when my husband made a career change, we moved to Rochester, New York, which was a medium-sized city with all the gardens and parks you needed in addition to theater and education.
So it was a little difficult for us to accept that our only grandson (GD) was born and is growing up in a neighborhood in New York City. Even our middle daughter (MD) was concerned. Out of our love for smaller towns, she longed for a smaller town to raise her daughter. But our son-in-law’s (SL) job was in New York and that’s what counts.
About a year ago, the family moved from an apartment to a lovely townhouse. This means that the house, and most of the houses on the street, are linked together on both sides. I love the house; It has four rooms upstairs for living and sleeping and a finished basement with two more rooms, a second kitchen, and plenty of storage space. It also has a backyard! This, to me, seemed like an impossible luxury in New York. Needless to say, I felt so much better about life for this family in the big city.
This year, we visited our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter over Halloween weekend and I got to see this community again. In the morning we attended a lower grade assembly. The children, all dressed for Halloween, showed off their costumes, one grade at a time. (GD and at least ten other girls were dressed as Elsa in the movie Frozen) I loved what I saw and it was so much more than the costumes. There were brown faces, black faces, white faces, and all the colors in between. There were African American students, Indian students, Japanese students, Chinese students, Caucasian students, and probably many nationalities that I did not recognize. He did not dominate any color, nationality or culture. I loved.
Early in the evening, we set off with our little Elsa to the commercial area, which is trick-or-treating paradise in this community. The streets were full of little and big goblins. The stores were being raided by all kinds of creatures with their bags open, looking for goodies, not tricks. Some stores already had “No Candy” signs on their doors. But there was still enough business for GD to fill his bag.
As we walked from one place to another, I must have heard adults and children speak at least ten different languages. And, once again, I observed this wonderful mix of races and cultures. The best part was that no one (except me) seemed to notice.
Forget the small town idea, forget the romantic notion of meeting everyone. This, right here in a New York borough, was a wonderful way to grow. In an environment like this, it would be difficult to hate or defame a religion. It would be even more difficult to hate the “other” or be aware of differences in skin color, language or religion, because we are all different. I think my daughter and son-in-law did well and I just want the whole world to notice.