If I were to tell you about an actor who has worked consistently on major Hollywood films for over two decades, has often worked with Academy Award-winning writers, actors and directors, and has a legion of fans who follow him. in all his movies no matter the genre or the story, what would be your immediate reaction to this person? Would you think “Wow, this guy must be great. Twenty years of studio movies, he must be talented.” Based solely on the description of the actor written above, with no names attached, would you ever in your right mind assume that the person was bad at his trade? that he sucked Most likely you wouldn’t. And yet, if after giving you that description I told you that the actor is Keanu Reeves, I bet I know what your reaction would be. “He stinks!”
I just don’t understand. In every interview she gives, she comes across as a perceptive, cerebral and well-rounded person who doesn’t get caught up in the whims of stardom and never asks for more than he needs. His co-stars shine for him and quality directors line up to put him in his movies. And yet, for some inexplicable reason, he is tormented by the thought that he is a fool. And that he has no talent. And I just don’t get it.
How can he suck if he’s still making great movies twenty years into his career? Most of his early companions are gone and forgotten; actors like Christian Slater, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Andrew McCarthy, et al, and yet here he is coming out with a great new movie this Friday (The Lake House). He has survived more severe critical beatings than he deserves. He has been interrupted, criticized and deplored because he has good looks but an empty affectation. He is perceived as a flat actor, without charisma, empty of emotional depth. And yet he’s still here making great movies. That’s how you explain it to me.
I’ve been a fan of Keanu since his Bill & Ted days. I have defended my love for the man that would be Neo before each of my friends and family. I’ve gotten into screaming matches with people I barely know, just because I heard them punch the man. And I have never lost an argument about him, because no one can prove that he is not a gifted and talented artist. They lose, because I can prove that he is.
But my discussion stops now. Once and for all I am going to show the world that Keanu Reeves does NOT suck. And I’ll prove it to you in a 40 point list format. I promise you that when you finish reading this article you will respect, admire and appreciate the talent that Keanu Reeves has.
Let the test begin…
1. If you weren’t impressed by Keanu’s southern ruthlessness in The Gift or at least agree that it was impressively intense, then we have nothing to talk about. Just click the “X” and leave this site immediately.
2. Contrary to popular belief, he has never won a Razzie Award. Which is more than I can say for these actors: Halle Berry, Charlton Heston, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, Faye Dunaway, Woody Harrelson, and Madonna.
3. Without being asked, he gave $38 million to the Wachowski brothers so they could properly finish the Matrix sequels. 38 million dollars! Let’s see Tom Cruise spend that much for one of his jalopies.
4. He has worked with the following critically acclaimed directors: Francis Ford Coppola, Ron Howard, Bernardo Bertolucci, Gus Van Sant, Sam Raimi, Taylor Hackford, Lawrence Kasdan, Stephen Frears, Richard Linklater
5. “Wow”
6. Keanu’s name means “cool breeze over the mountains” in Hawaiian, which is pretty cool. He likens that to Jean Claude Van Damme, which loosely translates into German as “giant idiot.”
7. The night before filming his kissing love scene for A Walk in the Clouds, Keanu put a hockey puck in his mouth, requiring six stitches. He still showed up for work the next day and filmed the scene over the course of six hours. Let’s see a fagot like Orlando Bloom do that! Keanu is tough.
8. Showing extreme foresight and good judgment (which is more than I can say for Sandra Bullock), she shelled out an easy payment of $10 million to star in Speed 2, because she didn’t think the script was any good. And she was right. Tell me again why people think it’s stupid.
9. He deferred part of his salary on The Replacements (2000) so that Gene Hackman could be cast. Obviously, the man knows what makes a great movie. And that would be the Hack Man.
10. He has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They don’t just give them, you know.
11. A personal quote: “I’m a jerk, man. You’ve got smart people and you’ve got dumb people. Turns out I’m dumb.” At least the man is brave enough to admit who he is.
12. He’s not as stiff, stiff, or stupid as Paul Walker.
13. He has starred in six movies that grossed $100 million. Which is more than the following actors that many claim are “better” than Keanu: Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Colin Farrell, Richard Gere, Hugh Grant, Ethan Hawke, Val Kilmer, Jude Law, Matthew McConaughey , Sean Penn, Joaquin Phoenix, Tim Robbins, Kevin Spacey, Vince Vaughn, Dennis Quiad and Al fucking Pacino!
14. It’s almost never featured in the tabloids, a very welcome quality considering the glut of media whores we have today (ahem, TomKat!).
15. Yeah, he gave people the impression that he’s an idiot, and no, he’s not Shakespeare, but come on, who doesn’t love Bill & Ted’s excellent adventure?
16. “I’m an FBI agent!” That line rules.
17. He decided to quit his band “Dogstar” so the rest of the group wouldn’t be held back by his celebrity or busy schedule. Which is more than I can say for some of the other jerk actors/wannabe rockers (ahem, Russell Crowe).
18. I managed to keep a straight face throughout the entire abysmally awful Sweet November. That requires talented people.
19. He has worked with the following Academy Award-winning actors: Al Pacino, Gene Hackman, Rachel Weisz, Charlize Theron, Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Morgan Freeman, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Anthony Quinn , Kevin Kline , William Hurt, and then the guy who played Bill on Bill & Ted’s. I’m pretty sure he’s already won a couple of Oscars.
20. He is “The One”. Mention of guarantees.
21. Know your acting limitations and, in doing so, don’t try to overextend yourself into roles you couldn’t do; which means not only his movies are better, but also all the movies he rejects. He is making better movies that he is NOT in, someone give up on this man.
22. He does not own a computer. So you know what that means… she’s not a MySpace slut.
23. In his review of Speed, Roger Ebert had this to say about Keanu: “Keanu Reeves has never had a role quite like this before. In fact, in his previous film, he played the mystical Prince Siddhartha and generally tends to be dreamy.” “. , sensitive characters. That’s why it’s amazing to see him so cool and focused here, a completely convincing action hero who is as focused and resourceful as Clint Eastwood or Harrison Ford in similar situations.”
24. He has made movies in all genres.
25. He played Buddha. No, I mean it, “the” Buddha. Between playing fucking Buddha and playing a stoner on Bill & Ted’s, why do people think he has no range?
26. In the ’80s, he taught the world’s stoners a little about history (and took Napoleon to Waterlube). Also, I’d be annoyed if you didn’t add that he’s totally no, no, no, no, no, no, not egregious.
27. And despite being seen as a stoner, he’s never been typecast on screen. In his various film roles, he has played: an FBI agent, a policeman, a serial killer, a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, The One, a quarterback, a musician, an advertising executive, a nuclear physicist ( hello!), a redneck, a soldier, the fucking Buddha, a gay hustler, and a Dog Boy.
28. He knows kung fu. So, you know, don’t fuck with him.
29. When Keanu decides to make a sequel: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When Keanu decides not to do a sequel: Speed 2. Can this guy pick winners, or what?
30. None of the following: a Scientologist (Tom Cruise), a john (Hugh Grant), a drug addict (Robert Downey Jr.), a cheater (Jude Law), a phone thrower (Russell Crowe), hard to work with? With (Val Kilmer) or a bad bastard (Sean Penn)
31. In addition to his obvious acting talents, Keanu also: surfs, rides motorcycles, was a good enough hockey goalie to earn the nickname “The Wall”, plays Shakespeare, reads philosophy, plays guitar in a bunch of rock bands, dances in ballrooms, rides wrinkle horses, and “knows” kung fu. Is there something he can’t do?
32. Her name is actually pronounced “kay-ah-nu,” not “key-ah-nu,” and yet she never makes a fuss about it (ahem, DEMI!).
33. Has had on-screen romances: Charlize Theron (twice), Sandra Bullock (twice), Monica Bellucci (twice), Rachel Weisz (twice), Carrie-Anne Moss (three times), Diane Lane, Connie Nielson , Dina Meyer and Uma Thurman. This doesn’t necessarily prove his specific level of sucking, but it does prove that hot actresses want to fuck him on screen, which is an important quality for movie stars today. For example, nobody wants to get Adam Sandler, and he’s not as good an actor as Keanu, even if you count Punch-Drunk Love twice.
34. He appeared in the pilot episode of Jay Mohr’s incredible short-lived show Action. And since that show ruled everything, he, in turn, receives a percentage of the sentence. Let’s say 17%.
35. To his everlasting credit, he never made a cameo in Will & Grace, which makes him one of five movie stars in the world who never did.
36. He was the host of a documentary show called “Children Remember the Holocaust.” He supports faith, I support him.
37. He has a college class based on his movies. “The Keanu Reeves Movies” at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, CA. Name another supposedly “abusive” actor who has a college class named after him? That’s right, you can’t, because Keanu is the only one. Because he kicks ass AND educates the youth of tomorrow.
38. He turned down the role of Val Kilmer in Heat to do a production of Hamlet in Canada. If I haven’t said it before, let me say it now, the man is dedicated to his trade. He works on it, he tries new things. He keeps working. Even if you think he’s not getting better, at least he’s trying. How many movie stars keep striving after achieving success? How many just slip into generic roles and unspectacular performances? Keanu pushes himself. He screws everything to his limitations, he works hard and I respect him for that.
39. British drama critic Roger Lewis of London’s Sunday Times (who knows something about Shakespeare, he is British, after all) had this to say about Keanu’s Winnipeg performance of The Prince of Denmark in Hamlet: “He quite embodied the innocence , the splendid fury, the animal grace of the leaps and bounds, the emotional violence, that make up the Prince of Denmark. He is one of the three best Hamlets I have ever seen, for one simple reason: he ‘is’ Hamlet.”
40. He brought to the world the phrase “Bogus, dude,” for which we are all forever grateful.
Now tell me, after reading this article, do you still think it sucks?
I don’t believe it.