Organizations are slowly realizing the need to increase listening at all levels. The big question is not whether to do it, but how.
In a recent Forbes magazine article, he got right to the heart of the matter. John Ryan wrote: “We need to be the primary listeners in our organizations, every day. That is no easy task, as listening can be quite a struggle for even the best-intentioned among us. However, it is something we can do.” get better — with effort and, frankly, we don’t have a lot of options.”
He cites advice from Michael Hoppe, a retired faculty member of the Center for Creative Leadership, for better listening:
1. Pay attention. Turn off your BlackBerry. Maintain eye contact. Not to show you understand. Otherwise, the conversation is dead before it starts.
2. Suspend sentence. Withhold your criticism and let others explain how they see a situation. You don’t have to agree; just show a little empathy.
3.Reflect. Periodically recap each other’s points to confirm your understanding. Often it turns out that you missed something.
4. Clarify. Ask open-ended questions that encourage people to expand their ideas. For example: “What are your thoughts about how we could increase sales in this economy?”
5. Summarize. Briefly repeat the central issues raised by the person with whom you are speaking. You don’t agree or disagree; you are simply closing the circle.
6. Share. Once you know where that person stands, present his own ideas and suggestions. This is how good conversations become even better.
All great ideas!
And of course I would add my own settings. In stages 3 and 5, be sure to use your words: parrot phrase, not paraphrase. And in stage 4, I would suggest using Clean Language’s “ultra-open questions”, like “What type of X (is that X)?”
It is best to pay conscious attention to your listening skills. They can definitely be improved with practice and training!
I was recently coaching a group of young managers, most of whom had just assumed their first supervisory responsibility, and we did a series of activities to show them what a difference real listening can make. For example, just being listened to for two minutes without interruptions or questions helped each participant think more deeply and express themselves more clearly. Know that they plan to make this a regular practice.
Why not find a partner and try it out? Once you feel heard, you may also feel more motivated to listen to others.