Be a good example for your children. Do you remember your childhood? If you do, are they happy memories filled with time spent with your parents and siblings (if you had siblings)? An adult will have childhood memories of him and happy memories were the result of positive interactions with family, friends and even pets. If they are not happy memories, they were the result of negative interactions and, in most cases, were created by their parents.
From the parents’ perspective, if a child grows up to be happy and successful, the parent is filled with pride. If that child becomes unhappy and gets into trouble frequently, the parents regret it and constantly wonder where they went wrong. I have often heard it said that there are no bad children, only bad parents. If parents set a good example, good results; bad examples, bad results. There are very, very few exceptions.
Well, for some good news. Hopefully you, the reader, still have children living at home. It is never too late for you to strive to set good examples for your children. Here are some ideas that I hope will help you set a good example for your children.
Spend time with your children! Parents today are stuck in a fast-paced life that doesn’t give them time to do the things they should be doing. Most parents express concern that they want to be good parents and feel that they are doing the best with the time they have. It is a question of priorities. What has higher priority? To be a good father or to be a good worker? Is it possible to do both? Only you as a parent can honestly answer that. Are you raising Christian children? The time you spend with your children gives them the opportunity to learn from you, their parents. Hopefully, you are the example they will follow. And I hope you’re giving them a good example to follow. God gave you children to raise, and therefore I hope that as parents you will take the time to really know your children and take responsibility for teaching them. One of my favorite sayings is, “God, give me the wisdom to never be too busy to do the things that matter most to my children.”
Practice what you preach! How many times have you heard that? How many times have I applied it? Children learn from examples. What they see and hear is what they do and repeat. Have you told your child that using vulgar language is wrong? Have you ever used vulgar language in the presence of your child? Have you ever used the phrase: “Do as I say, not as I do”? I sincerely hope not! Does the term “hypocrite” apply here? You can tell your children over and over again, but what matters most and what your children remember most are your words and actions. Yes, actions speak louder than words! Practice what you preach! Set appropriate examples for your children to follow. They want to be like you.
Tell your children that you love them! Your children need to know that you love them. They also need the physical connection that lets them know you really love them. A hug says “I love you” better than saying the words. How old is too old to hug a child? My two sons are in their thirties and my daughter is almost there. Everyone expects hugs from her father every time we meet. There is no better way to set an example for your children than by showing them love. A hug a day keeps the devil away!
There is no such thing as a perfect parent! We all make mistakes. We may not want to admit it, but it’s true. In setting a good example for your children, you need to confront your mistakes and not lie about them. Trying to pretend that you are perfect will result in you having to lie to your children about some of your decisions and actions. Even if you don’t want to admit it, sometimes you’ll lose your temper and say or do something you’ll regret. Admit your mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Well, there is a man who is perfect, but it’s not you, so get over it. You children will respect your honesty and you will be the first to forgive yourself. After all, you are his father. They love you. Give them a hug!
Make your house a home! Are the kids excited when they get home from school only to be home? Are you setting an example for your children of what a happy home should look like? Webster defines home as “a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the habitual residence of a person, family, or household. The place on which domestic affections are centered.” For me, another phrase could be included: a home is a house where love dwells. As parents it is our responsibility to make our house a home. Our children deserve no less. Our children need to be sure that when they get “home” they will find love waiting for them. Have you ever looked at a dog when someone comes home? One would think his tail would wag. They are so happy to see you. Do your children feel the same? Make your house a home!