The usual question about raising children is: “What should I do when my children misbehave in the market?” It is disconcerting when young people have fits, run away, cry, complain or resist in the store. It would be wonderful to have a little booklet called “How to Father in Public” that you could use for yourself and pass on to others in need.
The answer is that you don’t practice your control methodologies in the supermarket. That’s the year-end test! You practice them in the kitchen, bedroom, pantry and terrace. Young people need to figure out how to handle frustration at home so they can recognize a negative response at the checkout line. Children who have not figured out how to recognize rectification at home without a terrible mood will hopelessly fail the test when they have a crowd of people.
Young people create examples of relating. It is anticipated. You realize that if you say no to your four-year-old, he’s likely to have a fit, or when you give your eight-year-old a pattern, he’ll fight with you, or when you scold him, your thirteen-year-old , accuse the issue for others, including yourself.
Every once in a while, people feel like they’ve gotten into a movement and don’t know how to turn the music off. They realize that things shouldn’t happen this way, but it’s hard to implement improvements. These examples are called social agendas and they become more embedded in the long run.
Discipline for teens who are disrespectful is more humiliating when you’re in broad daylight. While at the market, your son begins to compete in the same way that he does at home. At the chapel, your girl talks back to you with the same rudeness you’ve been seeing for quite some time. These open spaces are not the place to work your social schedule shift, at least not until you’ve done a big job.
Children’s propensity to relate in a specific way builds over time and often requires a determined drive to change. When you recognize the particular problem and then work to make the best decision over and over again. For example, 14-year-old Ricky ignores his mother when she gives him an address. She needs to say the same thing a few times, often with increasing force, before he reacts.
The mother then begins the task by rehearsing this new standard of “come when called” with Ricky. Most of the time she comes, but occasionally she doesn’t, prompting a quick treat. The mother checks Ricky on his responsiveness when he comes and once she has him close to her and gives him guidance, she sees a marked change in his responsiveness. Mom continues to practice the new normal with Ricky several times a day. At that time she practices in and around the recreation center. When she feels confident that Ricky has completely changed the related example, her mom tries out the new standard in the store or chapel with empowering results.