Christian fellowship and discipleship are enhanced through peer mentoring. Through many expressions of mutual trust and care, we grow more and more in Christlikeness.
According to John Mallison, peer mentoring is an equal relationship between two people who value and respect each other and believe that each can enrich the other.
Here are just ten reasons why peer tutoring is a good idea:
1. Peer mentoring, at its most basic, is simply a good, caring, responsible friendship in which two people agree to make time for each other and intentionally grow together.
2. Communication skills are practiced and honed. As we negotiate through the levels of communication, becoming more and more intimate, the virtues of trust, courage and caring are exemplified.
3. Authentic life generally depends on transparency. We can easily delude ourselves into thinking that we are living lives that are transparent before God, but if we do not reveal ourselves to trusted companions, we miss opportunities to identify where we are straying. Being aware of our sin and surrendering is where peer tutoring can help.
4. Two are better than one, says the writer of Ecclesiastes (4:9-12). With a trusted friend, accountability is not only easier, but also encouraged.
5. Peer mentoring in small groups is an extension of shared trust and awareness, but from personal experience, the dynamic of four is better than the dynamic of three. When four or five men or women come together with the common goal of growing together in Christ, there is great power for spiritual growth. Intimacy is forged and emotional development is enjoyed.
6. We come to practice courage through the confidence to take risks by asking bold but loving questions of our friends. We also come to experience courage in confessing our sin. Only when we risk enough to care do we show that we care. Only when we risk our secrets do we show that we trust the other person with our vulnerabilities.
7. Disciplines such as prayer are enhanced in the company of others. Our prayers have more basis than ourselves when we pray in the company of others. And they are perhaps more reflective. (But one threat is that they may also be more fake.)
8. Life and spiritual balance can be regularly reviewed in peer tutoring. There may not be better comments. With the people who know us best, there is the role of Gentile prophecy: to tell what may occur due to current life patterns.
9. Where no unexplored area remains, we have achieved a pinnacle relationship. For two people who are not married to enjoy this kind of godly fellowship is a gift from God to both of them.
10. A list of peer associations would not be complete without mentioning conflict. No relationship that involves great intimacy is free of occasional conflicts. In fact, conflict is an important vehicle in achieving intimacy and trust. Peer mentoring presents two people with opportunities to experience conflict and grow through it.
***
Peer mentoring (intimate and responsible friendship) is a necessary component of becoming more like Christ. Becoming a true disciple of Jesus can possibly be helped no better than through effective peer mentoring.
© 2012 SJ Wickham.
Other reading: John Mallison, Mentoring – To develop disciples and leaders (Lidcombe: Scripture Union, 1998).