If you are a parent who has had the unpleasant and galling experience of trying to tame a toddler tantrum in public with little success, you will be pleased to know that there are a variety of effective discipline methods you can try on your child. stop tantrumsand prevent them from happening in the first place.
Here are four tips to stop tantrums:
Express what your toddler feels, not what you feel
As adults we want people to listen to us, understand us and we want to receive a relevant response. Children are no different. So instead of explaining to your toddler what YOU are thinking, try expressing what your toddler is thinking to show that you are listening and understand how you are feeling.
For example, if your child starts throwing a tantrum when you tell him it’s time to leave the park, instead of saying something like, “We’ve been here for hours, it’s time to go; come on, come on, I have to go home and we cook the dinner. have dinner now; let’s go, it’s starting to get dark and I’m cold, “etc. Try saying something like, “Luke is mad! He wants to stay in the park. He’s really mad! No, Mommy, I don’t want to go home, I want to stay in the park and play!”
Express what YOUR CHILD is feeling to show that you understand. The result is likely to be that your child will calm down enough that you pick him up, take him to the car, and offer him something as a distraction if he still needs it.
You might feel a bit silly doing this the first few times (especially in public), but this technique works very well with many young children, so it is worth a try.
Give your toddler a special job to do
It may seem hard to believe if you are dealing with an unwieldy child right now, but the reality is that all children enter this world programmed to be helpful and cooperative. All you have to do is take advantage of this natural tendency by giving your child a special “job” that will prevent or calm a tantrum.
For example, if your toddler refuses to sit in his car seat, try making him the “head of the seat belts” with the special job of making sure they are all fastened securely before the car can. start up. At the grocery store, you could give your child the task of being his “lookout” to help him find certain items on the shelves, or try to pretend he’s lost and needs your help finding another food or a way out.
Asking your child for help is not only a great way to take his mind off disruptive behavior and stop tantrums, but it also makes him feel important and does wonders for his self-esteem.
Never give in to your child’s demands during a tantrum.
Giving in to your child’s demands during a tantrum is especially tempting in public as a way to quickly end the attention-grabbing episode. But doing it is a BIG mistake, because if you give in to your child when he is whining, crying, or having a tantrum, you are teaching him that this type of behavior is the way to get what he wants. And they will learn to repeat this behavior knowing that there is a chance that you will eventually give in to them. This is the case even if it only gives in from time to time.
On the other hand, if you are firm, you stand firm and you are consistent, your child will quickly learn that there is absolutely no point in throwing a tantrum to try to get away with it, or to fight what is. it will eventually have to do anyway.
Ignore your toddler while throwing a tantrum
It is important to realize that even scolding and yelling are forms of attention, and children would rather receive unpleasant attention from you than no attention at all. Therefore, when you pay attention to your child when he is misbehaving, you may actually be teaching him to do the same things that you do not want him to do.
When your toddler has tantrums, paying any attention to the misbehavior serves as reinforcement. That is why one of the best ways to handle a tantrum is to ignore it; just pretend the behavior is not occurring. Don’t look at, speak to, or respond to your child until the tantrum stops. Then be sure to acknowledge them as soon as inappropriate behavior stops sending a clear message that good behavior is the best way to get their attention.