The first thing to understand is that fear or anxiety is always of a future event.. In other words, it’s part of your imagination, so it’s not “real.” But it sure feels real and affects you like real with your heart pounding and your adrenaline pumping. So you treat the fear of flying by treating the imagination.
You have a vivid imagination and can easily imagine yourself crashing into a mountain., an engine explosion, a terrorist attack, a wing crash, a cabin fire, an asteroid shower impact; the pilot may be drunk or have a heart attack, etc. Any number of things can go wrong!
Then your rational mind steps in to remind you that the odds of such things happening are much higher than winning the million dollar lottery. And you have heard many times that flying is safer than driving a car. Then your imagination returns: well, people do win lotteries and accidents happen, and people get struck by lightning, and I’m 30,000 feet in the air without a parachute!
Einstein said that the imagination is the most powerful thing in the universe.. You have the free choice to use it for better or worse, negative or positive. If you want to use yours for negative things, then you could become a horror novelist like Stephen King and earn a lot of money. Or if you want, you can use it for positive things like: not only relaxing and enjoying each plane ride, but also looking forward to it with the joyful anticipation of a kid going to Disneyland. It’s all in your mind and it’s all controllable. So how do you control it?
You control it the way a stage actor controls his performance, or the way in which a military maneuver is controlled: planning it, practicing it, training it. You rehearse it over and over until your muscles memorize it and you can do it without thought. This is a definition of mindfulness: action without the interference of thought. So you don’t really have a fear of flying problem; you have a problem of fear of the unknown. Correctly rehearsing your ride makes it fully known.
The correct rehearsal requires being deeply relaxed. Deep physical and mental relaxation allows your visualization to be more effectively internalized and assimilated into your subconscious mind so that you can then operate on autopilot, no pun intended. Otherwise, your training will not stick, it will just go in one ear and out the other.
Here is a basic self-hypnosis method.: Sitting in a comfortable chair with a straight back or lying in bed, take three very deep breaths. Now scan your body from head to toe to relieve all tension. Just focus on each muscle group and tell it to be heavy and relaxed. Tell the muscles of the face, eyelids, and jaw to be heavy and relaxed. Tell your neck, shoulders, back, arms, hands, fingers, chest, abdomen, hips, buttocks, legs, and feet to be heavy and relaxed.
now relax your mind closely following your breath as it goes in and out. When distracting thoughts intrude, return your attention to your breathing over and over again, until your mind is fairly calm and still.
Now imagine seeing yourself on a big movie screen. the day of your flight. See yourself at home preparing to go to the airport, just as relaxed then as you are now. See yourself packing a carry-on bag and a check-in bag. See yourself carrying the two bags to the car and placing them neatly in the trunk. You get in the car and start driving to the airport, noticing how relaxed and calm you feel. He is satisfied that all the details of the trip have been taken care of up to this point.
Now you stop at the gate of your airline, Get out of your car and open the trunk. An attendant takes your bags and heads to the parking area and finds a fairly convenient space. You calmly walk back to the terminal and wait in the short line at the ticket counter. You realize how perfectly relaxed and patient you are. The smiling agent hands you your tickets and you head to the gate. You go and stop at a newsstand and examine the shelf of novels. A civil war romance jumps out at you and you buy it for the flight.
Your mind is perfectly calm and clear as you enter and complete the security check. You hand your ticket to the attendant, who stamps it and gives you your seat number. You sit in the waiting room and leaf through the book. Your flight is called and you stand in line with the other passengers, still feeling deeply relaxed and not a thought on your mind except how enjoyable this novel and this flight will be. You watch yourself enter the plane and head to your seat feeling perfectly calm and relaxed. You sit down, fasten your seat belt and return to the novel, hardly noticing the smooth and powerful takeoff.
The heroine risks her life hiding and caring for a wounded enemy soldier. in the family cellar. You close your eyes for a moment, wondering if you would have the courage to do something so risky. When a bit of turbulence distracts you, just take a deep breath and bring your attention back to reading from it. You stop reading again to enjoy a good meal of chicken parmigiana with a glass of Chianti.
You look rooted in the present moment now feeling calmer and more relaxed than he’s ever felt. You look out the window to realize how wonderfully beautiful the view is from this height. Before you know it, the plane has landed in Paris and is taxiing up the ramp, and you almost regret the flight ending so soon.
The flight is over and you can bring your attention back to normal.. If you want, you can replay your journey over and over again until you’re perfectly clear on how it’s all going to happen. You are learning to live in reality instead of the mindset, living in the security of the present instead of the anxiety of the future.
Have a good trip!